Ok, I get it. If people were listening in on Jason and I having a conversation about our family, they would think we were some new age hipster farmers that obsessed over the wellness of their indoor chickens. As much fun as that sounds, as cool as that reality show would be, we’re not that cool. So, I get it. If you don’t know us, we can be hard to understand, hard to follow. So that’s why I’m working on some chicken lingo, dictionary style. Here are just a few entries to get you started.
Artillery (noun): what Jason calls male parts on Mr. Chicken, Mr. Chicken. “Are you done with his bath yet?” “Just finishing up on his artillery.”
Chicken Cork (noun): paci. “Quigley, do you have a cork in your mouth?”
Chicken Cuts (verb): haircuts for Mr. Chicken, Mr. Chicken. “On Wednesday we have an appointment for chicken cuts.”
Chicken Hug (verb): a hug from Ryder or a headbutt from Crews (yep, he thinks a hug is a headbutt, our apologies in advance). “Dada is home. Go give him a chicken hug!”
Chicken Pics (verb): pictures of Mr. Chicken, Mr. Chicken. “Don’t forget we need to schedule chicken pics this fall for our Christmas card.”
Coop (noun): crib, or more broadly the chicken bedroom. “It’s naptime, let’s go to the coop.”
Goats (noun): feet. “Get your goats off your brother’s face.”
Greatness (Proper Noun): the official title of Aussie White. Also goes by (but does not always answer to) Her Majesty, Pooperson, Poopie McPooperson. “What does Greatness want for dinner?” (hint: the answer is always cheese)
Nub (noun): The leftover tail after a dog has been docked. (Proper Noun): The nickname of Quigley (also called Mr. Wiggles, Quiggles, Mr. Little Dude.) “And how was Nub today?”
Poofs (noun): unofficial name for “Happy Baby Organic Superfood Puffs.” “Snack time! Do you want some poofs?”
Rally Hair (noun): a Mohawk created by combing chicken hair straight up post bath time, no product need. “Nice, Mr. Chicken. I see you got your rally hair and are ready for bed.”
Worsh (verb): sounded phonetically instead of wash in honor of Uncle Reggie, Tennessee born and bred. “Mr. Chicken, Mr. Chicken, you ready to worsh?
Ok, friends, is this helpful. Can you now follow?
The Big Bang Theory, Series 03 Episode 23 – The Lunar Excitation